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Let's face it, LinkedIn isn't the most exciting app on your phone. While it’s great for networking, business news and recruiting, you only check it when you need to. But with a growing number of people using LinkedIn as a way to hook up with old work colleagues, it seems it isn’t actually all work and no play. For a growing number of users, it's the new Tinder, with a request to connect becoming the new swipe right.
A lot of us spend the majority of our day in the office, so it’s likely we’ll end up hooking up with a colleague at some point. It makes sense considering you’ll probably have similar career backgrounds and professional interests. And yes, you can moan to each other about Tony in accounts.
However, in a lot of companies, relationships between workmates are frowned upon. In the US, a growing number of organisations are getting employees to sign ‘love contracts’ to prevent accusations of sexual harassment, and it’s a trend that’s likely to start here too. Imagine having to let HR know every time you want to go for a coffee. Romance killer or what?
With that in mind, it’s easy to see why LinkedIn has recently become The Place to flirt since launching 15 years ago. With over 450 million members, it already has more people on it than all the dating apps put together. And you can easily filter away anyone who’s not within dating distance. People also tend to be more honest in their LinkedIn profile. You may be able to get away with bumping your GCSE Biology up from a C to a B, but you can’t really say you’re a model when you’re actually an accountant.
The reality
Sure, using LinkedIn to tentatively message colleagues under the guise of 'networking' sounds tempting, but you could be playing Russian roulette with your job. Flirting on the platform is essentially the online equivalent of having a quickie in the stationary cupboard - while it may seem exciting at the time, if you get caught, it could ruin your career.
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Carrie*, 25, immediately fancied her boss Jack* after starting an internship at a prestigious media marketing company. But, as in many companies, relationships between junior and senior staff were completely out of bounds. Jack was also engaged to somebody in the same industry, so apart from some subtle flirting, nothing happened between them. Until, a few months late, after he’d left the company, Jack’s name came up as a recommended connection on her LinkedIn.
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Carrie decided to click. “It was partly to test the waters, but also, I thought if he isn’t interested, he’s still a good contact, so there was nothing to lose,” she says. Within minutes, Jack accepted and sent her a message with his mobile number, asking if she fancied going for a coffee.
Jack soon made it clear he was interested in linking up offline too. “After nine months of pent up sexual tension, let’s just say we moved off LinkedIn very quickly,” says Carrie. “When we got together, it was more than just sex because we had loads in common, and a mutual respect from having worked together. After nearly a year of being so near and yet so far, the sex was really intense and exciting. It felt forbidden.”
So did LinkedIn make it easier for them to finally get together? “We work in an industry where everyone knows everyone, so I don’t think I would’ve gone there if he’d come up on Facebook. Also, I can trust Jack, partly because he’s a decent guy, but also because he was my boss and has just as much to lose,' she says. Plus, there’s the fact users often carry themselves in a politer, more professional manner. “I wouldn't send him naked selfies on it - it feels too close to home.'
Unfortunately, hooking up with a colleague through the app didn’t work out so well for Sarah*, 29. She met James*, 38, a senior manager from her head office, at a conference. “He was so charismatic,” she says. “All the girls were drooling over him like he was Tom Hardy, so when he sent me a connection request, I ended up in his hotel room that evening.
'I wasn’t as discreet as I should have been - soon my fling became the talk of the office'
“I don’t normally have one night stands, but when you’re away at a conference, it’s like being on holiday. Also, it was such an ego boost because everyone fancied him. I wasn’t as discreet as I should have been, and soon my fling became the talk of the office.”
Eventually, her boss found out and yep, he happened to be a close friend of James’ girlfriend. 'My boss went ballistic and basically said I had to stop sleeping with him or I’d be sacked. It was the most humiliating experience of my life, and I was lucky not to lose my job. The regional manager has it in for me now, so any chances of promotion are ruined.”
The technicalities
And it’s not just those awkward situations you could end up in, using LinkedIn ‘inappropriately’ could lead to instant dismissal. “Many companies now have a social media policy that you need to sign as part of your contract,” warns Victoria McLean from CityCV and former recruiter for Goldman Sachs. “It’s definitely not the place to hit on someone. It comes across as unprofessional, and there’s nothing to stop them posting your private messages publicly. With over 80% of hirers checking you out on LinkedIn and Google before making a permanent job offer, your online brand needs to be squeaky clean or that amazing new job will disappear.”
This is something Scarlett, 31*, experienced herself. After getting a job in Dubai, she was surprised when her ex-boyfriend Jason* suddenly got back in touch on LinkedIn. He was eager to meet up with her. “Jason was my first serious boyfriend, and you never forget your first love. Although I had the sun and expat community, it did get lonely out there. So he came to visit me, and pulled out all the stops; fancy dinners, romantic trips on desert safaris, the works. When he started asking me questions about work, I just told him everything. I was so passionate about my job and wanted to show off, I guess.”
It soon transpired Jason had been trying to break into the UAE market for ages, and wanted to use Scarlett’s business contacts to realise his ambition. “Dubai is one of those places where it really is all about who you know, and he knew I could open lots of doors for him. On his own, he couldn’t even get a foot in,” she says. “I introduced him to some influential people in Dubai and told him about a massive proposal I was working on. It was the first time I’d been put in charge of such a big project, and I was in line for a promotion based on the result. He ended up using my research and pitching it to my contacts first, so they went with him and I lost any chance of promotion.
Darain Faraz, a spokesperson for LinkedIn, says, 'The 24+ million UK members on LinkedIn, and the 546+ million around the world, are members because they want to build their careers and become better professionals. The online world has no shortage of places for people looking for dates; it's neither common, nor effective, to do that on LinkedIn.'
Unfortunately, you can’t help who you fall for... or who you want to have sex with. But when you hook up with a colleague, remember the same rules apply online as IRL: when you lose your heart, don’t lose your head. “A network like LinkedIn should be used for professional reasons only. That is why it was set up,” says Vena Ramphal, relationship expert from C4 show ‘The Seven Year Switch.’
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“There are other sites for dating and hook ups. Of course, you can’t control the game of life. If your eyes meet across the LinkedIn network and you fall in love with a passion greater than your passion for work then follow your heart. But be smart about it. Put some rules in place to separate your work life from your love life.”
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